Your articles is what brought me to the ecological approach to learning btw. I would not have the success and fun I’m having without your articles. My goal at the beginning of the year was to be a legendary coach for these kids and I feel like I am actually fulfilling that goal with your help.
I want to share a moment from my tour mane this last weekend. We as an underrated 2s team achieved a top 2 finish for the 3rd time in tournament results this year. We had the chance to uprank 3 times. We almost got into the top of teams rated in our area.
In our last game yesterday, we had a crazy moment. We were up 10-2. We had to get to 15. They called a time out. I could feel victory.
But something changed on the court. Everyone looked scared. It felt like we didn’t want it. People started screaming with a different feel. Imposter syndrome set in. We were up so much. Then I realized that we never trained for this moment.
We never trained for the moment to be up so much. This had a different psychological feel. We lost. We were not prepared for this moment. I failed as a coach for not recognizing this lack of experience. Just past tournament this happened as well.
The next day I woke up and that’s the first thing I remembered. The grief set it. We were up 10-2.
I was sad but determined. We had practice today. I knew we had to train this. If we trained this. We will be unstoppable. All 2 hours. Games to 15. 0-8 start scores. Loser does a suicide.
Seeing the boys fumble the lead at practice gives me joy because I know the other side is learning how to attack the point gap.
Seeing the 8 point side destroy the 0 point team felt useless but I am seeing them realize urgency.
Seeing them manage risk in their serve and hit. Seeing them communicate urgency. Seeing them understand how critical it is to error is EXACTLY what we need.
Thanks to your articles, I can be that legendary coach and not let this failure define my team.
Matt, I’m moved you shared this. There’s a quiet moment inside your story that stands out to me: being up and losing. Most teams explain that away as “we got nervous” or “we lacked focus.” But those phrases hide the real thing—you simply hadn’t lived that scenario before. And now you are training it, with full attention, full heart, full intention. That’s the work.
One of my deepest hopes in writing is that coaches build range in their coaching. More ways to shape learning. More environments where players discover who they can become. Reading how you’ve taken these ideas and made them real with your team means a lot to me, truly.
Thank you for your enthusiasm and generosity in sharing your journey. Keep going. The way you’re guiding your boys through pressure, emotion, and growth—that’s real coaching.
If you ever want to talk more with other coaches who practice this way, the subscriber chat is open any time. Would love to have you in there. Of course I am available by DM as well. Always wanted to talk to a legend!
Here - even with small children - you hear phrases from coaches/ teachers like “they didn’t want it enough” and/ or people talking about certain players/teams as just “winners”. The truth is never that simple- often they just haven’t been in that situation before and need to learn how to cope in that new environment (it works the same in reverse of course). Thanks for sharing your conversation
Your articles is what brought me to the ecological approach to learning btw. I would not have the success and fun I’m having without your articles. My goal at the beginning of the year was to be a legendary coach for these kids and I feel like I am actually fulfilling that goal with your help.
I want to share a moment from my tour mane this last weekend. We as an underrated 2s team achieved a top 2 finish for the 3rd time in tournament results this year. We had the chance to uprank 3 times. We almost got into the top of teams rated in our area.
In our last game yesterday, we had a crazy moment. We were up 10-2. We had to get to 15. They called a time out. I could feel victory.
But something changed on the court. Everyone looked scared. It felt like we didn’t want it. People started screaming with a different feel. Imposter syndrome set in. We were up so much. Then I realized that we never trained for this moment.
We never trained for the moment to be up so much. This had a different psychological feel. We lost. We were not prepared for this moment. I failed as a coach for not recognizing this lack of experience. Just past tournament this happened as well.
The next day I woke up and that’s the first thing I remembered. The grief set it. We were up 10-2.
I was sad but determined. We had practice today. I knew we had to train this. If we trained this. We will be unstoppable. All 2 hours. Games to 15. 0-8 start scores. Loser does a suicide.
Seeing the boys fumble the lead at practice gives me joy because I know the other side is learning how to attack the point gap.
Seeing the 8 point side destroy the 0 point team felt useless but I am seeing them realize urgency.
Seeing them manage risk in their serve and hit. Seeing them communicate urgency. Seeing them understand how critical it is to error is EXACTLY what we need.
Thanks to your articles, I can be that legendary coach and not let this failure define my team.
Matt, I’m moved you shared this. There’s a quiet moment inside your story that stands out to me: being up and losing. Most teams explain that away as “we got nervous” or “we lacked focus.” But those phrases hide the real thing—you simply hadn’t lived that scenario before. And now you are training it, with full attention, full heart, full intention. That’s the work.
One of my deepest hopes in writing is that coaches build range in their coaching. More ways to shape learning. More environments where players discover who they can become. Reading how you’ve taken these ideas and made them real with your team means a lot to me, truly.
Thank you for your enthusiasm and generosity in sharing your journey. Keep going. The way you’re guiding your boys through pressure, emotion, and growth—that’s real coaching.
If you ever want to talk more with other coaches who practice this way, the subscriber chat is open any time. Would love to have you in there. Of course I am available by DM as well. Always wanted to talk to a legend!
Here - even with small children - you hear phrases from coaches/ teachers like “they didn’t want it enough” and/ or people talking about certain players/teams as just “winners”. The truth is never that simple- often they just haven’t been in that situation before and need to learn how to cope in that new environment (it works the same in reverse of course). Thanks for sharing your conversation
Very cool to read this. Infectious.